This week I published a podcast with a veterinarian whose story we should all hear. She had fallen into the deepest darkest place that a person can go, by the grace of God got professional help, and now has risen to a place of helping other veterinarians deal with impostor syndrome and learn to take care of their mental health. This profound conversation lead me to think about how we often confuse our worth with our work.
As a veterinarian and a life coach, I know that veterinarians are deeply devoted to their work. It’s not just a job for us, it is our life long dream. We invested years into our education and continue to spend hours in updating that education. We expend emotional energy, financial resources, and sacrifice our personal life to serve our clients, the people who love animals as much as we do.
Something about veterinary ambition turns us into perfectionists who tie our worth as a human to our success as a professional. But in reality, our worth as a human being is never tied to our productivity or our medical outcomes. Because we are high achievers, the compassion and empathy makes us successful, but also makes us vulnerable to low self-worth.
When your identity becomes your profession, everything feels personal:
- A poor outcome feels like a character flaw.
- A difficult client feels like a personal rejection.
- A slow day feels like inadequacy.
- A mistake feels catastrophic and unforgivable.
Remember this; you can do everything “right” and still have a patient decline. You can practice excellent medicine and still have clients complain. You can be highly skilled and still have an unexpected complication. None of those circumstances determine your value.
Your worth was established long before you ever wore your scrubs and white coat. It existed before you were accepted to veterinary school. It exists outside your clinic and it remains with you each and every day.
There are a few common reasons veterinarians do this.
We are conditioned to achieve. Many of us were praised for performance when we were growing up. We were encouraged to get the good grades and be the good kid. We equated achievement with love and attention. Medicine trains us to strive for ideal outcomes so we tend to internalize negative outcomes. The caring and passion that we have makes us fear and hide feelings of failure. Our profession glorifies long days, endurance, and self-sacrifice.
How do we separate worth from work?
By learning from our mistakes without shame. By evaluating our performance without attacking ourselves. By resting without believing that we are lazy. By setting boundaries without guilt.
Try talking to yourself in a new way. Not, “I am a bad veterinarian”, but “What can I learn from this setback?” Don’t say, “The client is upset because I am not smart enough.”, say, “The client is upset because they are being controlled by their fear and grief.”
You are a whole person. You are someone with emotions, relationships, hobbies, dreams, and a life outside the clinic. When work becomes the only measure of your worth, stress and burnout result.
Coach yourself by asking, “If I could not practice starting tomorrow, would I still have value?” The answer is YES!
You are still worthy of respect and love, always.
So, notice your self-talk, replace identity statements with situational statements, create non-work related relationships and hobbies, and set boundaries to build the life of your dreams.
If you are struggling to see your worth, reach out for help. Get yourself a coach or therapist - it will make all the difference.
The most grounded, happy people that work in veterinary medicine have worked to create self-awareness and built their identity outside of their work. You are valued and worthy just because God designed you for a unique purpose in this world. You can be an incredible veterinarian and also value yourself as an incredible human being.
Take care, my friend.
Dr. Julie Cappel
The Veterinary Life Coach
Reach out to me for coaching at theveterinarylifecoach.com
